On the importance of time

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I took time out of my day yesterday to go to the nail shop for my long overdue mani/pedi. I normally go every two weeks, but because I’ve been so busy with reporting and writing, I hadn’t been in a month.

As I sat there getting my services, I found myself constantly watching the clock. I had blocked the time off on my calendar, and I stuck to my appointment, but I only allowed an hour to be in the shop, which is normally how quickly they can get me in and out.

The man who usually does my manicure was not there, and another woman did the work in his place, and she was a little on the slow side, so what is normally a 60-minute service turned into a 90-minute service, and all I could think about was how that was going to throw my entire day off.

I’ve gotten into the habit of blocking things off on my schedule every day. If there is something that I have to do, it goes on the schedule, and I make a set time for it.

That nail appointment threw my afternoon schedule off yesterday. I recovered, because if nothing else, I’ve learned to be adaptable, but as I was lying in bed last night, I thought about how paranoid I got when they started going over the allotted time.

I flash back to a conversation I had with my best friend about how we get 86,400 seconds each day, and it’s the kind of bank account that you can only withdraw from, but not add to.

I’m growing to a point where I don’t want to waste the funds in that account. I want to make every second, minute, and hour of my day count in some substantial way.

I don’t feel guilty about the 90 minutes I spent in the nail shop. That’s a form of self care that I will not turn away from; I love pretty feet and hands, and they make me feel good about myself.

I’m just glad that the trip to the nail shop made me remember how important my time is to me, and furthered my resolve to not waste any of it.

Dear Black Women: White Gays Are Your Allies, So Don’t Push Us Away | TIME

There is no question white gays have intrinsic advantages over black women in American society. Sure, we’ve taken our lumps, but black women certainly win the sweepstakes of oppression by a landslide. It is, in fact, this basic difference — race — that has enabled us to blitz through our civil rights movement in head-spinning fashion, while black women continue to face painful economic and political hurdles. Why did gay rights go from fantasy to entitlement in a blink of the historical eye, even as other oppressed minorities fend off efforts to deny them the ability to vote or obtain a decent education? Because so many of the gay men and women who came out were white and, thus, already embedded in the nation’s most powerful institutions.

via Dear Black Women: White Gays Are Your Allies, So Don’t Push Us Away | TIME. (h/t Maya)

I’m not sure in what universe white gay men and black women supposedly have a shared or similar experience, but this article is still worth a read. It exemplifies everything that is wrong culturally with this need for inclusion on the part of white Americans. It’s OK; you don’t have to be a part of everything.

I have a lot of gay, white male friends, and not one of them has ever told me they shared my experience, because I think they understand that as a black woman in America, my experience is almost always going to be harder. It is easier for a white male to pass in this society than it is for me to. White gay men have more advantages even in as much as their gayness sets them apart from their own counterparts in society, but that setting apart will never equal blackness. Ever.

Time’s 140 Best Twitter Feeds of 2014

Now that Twitter is bigger than ever, the unique voices that make the social network so addictive are increasingly important. Choosing TIME’s annual list of the 140 most influential Twitter feeds is never easy, with tens of thousands of contenders, but it’s especially difficult as a greater volume of people, organizations and even bots find innovative ways to stand out.

This list contains a wide range of personalities, all chosen by TIME editors from diverse subjects like politics, sports, culture and technology. It’s by no means comprehensive, and as always, honorees from previous years have been excluded. Scroll through the list of 140 feeds and start following right away. Think we missed something? Let us know by tweeting your opinion using the hashtag #Twitter140.

via Behind the List | TIME.com.