New DEADLINE Mode and Shotaro Bike – Plus Special Bonuses in GTA Online 

Rockstar has blessed GTA V Online with yet another cool update, and I must say, I’m excited for this.

The Bikers DLC has completely changed the way I play GTA now. All I do are biker club missions, because they make the most money for me, but that’s a separate post.

The point of this post is that the new bikes they have been coming out with are BEAST, and today’s DLC is no exception. I’ve already told OJ that we have to get online tonight and unlock these bikes so I can stunt.

Light up the night with the blazingly fast Nagasaki Shotaro. Packed with enough energy to power the Los Santos grid and sporting the looks of an auto show concept vehicle, the Shotaro delivers a driving experience that is out of this world. Experience the delights of the Shotaro first in the new Deadline Adversary Mode, which will unlock the bike for purchase at Legendary Motorsport, and the Deadline Outfit is also unlocked for purchase at any clothing store. And for a limited time, proud new Shotaro owners will get a free Nagasaki Logo Tee added to their wardrobe.

Source: New DEADLINE Mode and Shotaro Bike – Plus Special Bonuses in GTA Online | Rockstar Games

This Week: Load Up on 2X RP & GTA$ Payouts in Series A Funding (July 27th – August 2nd) | Rockstar Games

Now that you’ve plundered Humane Labs and sprung Rashkovsky from Bolingbroke, it’s time to revisit an old friend and reap double the GTA$ & RP rewards for doing so. Over the next seven days (July 27th – August 2nd), you’ll receive 2X GTA$ and RP for each of the Set-Up Missions and the Finale in the Series A Funding GTA Online Heist.

Source: This Week: Load Up on 2X RP & GTA$ Payouts in Series A Funding (July 27th – August 2nd) | Rockstar Games

Rockstar is trying to entice you into playing the same heists over and over again, and for those of us playing on old gen consoles, we should probably take advantage of this because it is likely that any new heists which come out won’t be on PS3 or Xbox 360.

The GTA Online ILL-GOTTEN GAINS Update Part 2 Is Now Available


Part 2 of The Ill-Gotten Gains Update for GTA Online delivers desirable new vehicles, unforgiving new weapons and clothes to make you stand out in a crowd. For the unconventional, the Coil Brawler is a luxury sports-styled off-roader with raised suspension and a 400 horsepower engine that will muscle its way over any terrain. If top speed is what matters most, the Progen T20 is among the fastest cars to ever arrive in Los Santos, and the Vapid Chino brings some old school sedan brawn to your vehicle collection, while the Dinka Vindicator motorcycle adds agility and speed, featuring a kinetic energy recovery system (KERS) that stores energy from braking and delivers a burst of speed on activation.

Source: The GTA Online ILL-GOTTEN GAINS Update Part 2 Is Now Available | Rockstar Games


How excited are you for the latest GTA Update? The cars look nice, the clothes got an upgrade, and there are more things to spend money on, but not more ways to make said money.

Rockstar continues to price things in such a way as to attempt to make Shark Cards a necessity. Stop trying to make fetch happen, Rockstar.

The update includes patches to various bugs as usual.


ILL-GOTTEN GAINS Update: Part Two Coming to GTA Online Next Week | Rockstar Games

The second haul of high-end goods currently en route to Los Santos’ luxury shops and dealerships. We’re pleased to announce that the Ill-Gotten Gains Update: Part Two will arrive for all platforms next week, on Wednesday July 8th. This new collection of extravagant attire and potent transportation also includes the debut of the previously PC-exclusive ‘The Lab’ radio station across all four console platforms.

Source: ILL-GOTTEN GAINS Update: Part Two Coming to GTA Online Next Week | Rockstar Games

Rumor has it that this will likely be the last update we will see on PS3 or Xbox 360, so enjoy it. Even the more robust features of the new updates are only available on next gen platforms.

Kendrick Lamar – “ADHD”

I play a lot of Grand Theft Auto Online. Don’t judge me; it is an excellent way to relieve daily stress. There’s nothing like logging on, pulling my Grotti Turismo out of the garage and speeding through the streets of Los Santos while Kendrick Lamar’s “ADHD” bumps on the stereo. My television is plugged into my living room stereo, so the bass is extra kicking for me, and it makes the scenario that much more real.

“ADHD” is one of the songs featured on the in game station Radio Los Santos. Taken from Lamar’s 2011 release Section.80, “ADHD” focuses on the apathy and drug use/tolerance of so-called “crack babies” or people born in the 80s. The music is smooth, and Lamar’s steady cadence as he raps over the beat in a low, calm voice is almost hypnotic.

Take a listen and watch the video.

Rockstar promises new spring updates to GTA Online, but will ongoing problems be fixed?

Grand Theft Auto Online Spring Updates (image from

Grand Theft Auto Online Spring Updates (image from

Grand Theft Auto Online players were promised the highly anticipated cooperative heists, a new dlc and the ability to own more than one home by Rockstar Games two weeks ago

Cooperative heists, the most highly anticipated feature of the online game, are promised to be released this spring, but no definite date has been given. That particular carrot has been dangling for so long, it’s hard to take Rockstar seriously when they announce its impending implementation.

Coming this spring to Grand Theft Auto Online, team up with your most trusted Crew members or with random other mercenaries in Grand Theft Auto Online to pull off cooperative Heist Missions for glory and profit. We know many in the GTA Online community have been looking forward to this update — stay tuned for much more information to come.

GTA Online (image from

GTA Online (image from

Up until this point, most of the Rockstar updates have seemed to address exploits that allowed players to make money in the game “illegally” through glitches. There is a general belief that Rockstar is more concerned with being able to make more money from the game through the sale of shark cards than it is with enabling players to enjoy the game.

The first of the updates rolled out on April 8, and included among its top abilities the ability to call Lester and for the small fee of $5000 get the cops to ignore you for three minutes of free-for-all game time.

PokerMcBluff, a user on the Rockstar support forums, wrote a brilliant post outlining the many problems that plague the LSPD including the problematic wanted timer, the seemingly invincible police force and their marksmen like abilities, and random security guards who apparently listen to the police band all day in an effort to help the police force contain the populous.

GTA Online forum post

GTA Online forum post

These are problems that players have complained about time and time again on the Rockstar forums, and the request for a police-free lobby has gone out more than once. Rockstar’s solution seems to be more of a way to bleed money out of the community than it is an actual appeasement to players wanting to be able to go to war with their friends without police intervention. It would cost much less in bail and health fees to get killed by the police repeatedly over three minutes than it costs to give Lester the money to pay them off.

The rest of the updates in 1.12 continue much in the same vein. There are more fixes to prevent money glitches and hacks with a few player pleasing perks thrown in including getting a small amount of RP for voting at the end of jobs, replacing the Gusenberg sweepers that were lost after the Business update, and fixing the issue that prevented players from getting more than $10,000 for a fully-modded vehicle at Los Santos Customs.

But what about the other longstanding problems?

GTA Online Time out screen (image from

GTA Online Time out screen (image from

The game timing out is a huge issue, and it occurs for players across the board on both the XBox 360 and Playstation 3 platforms. I myself have encountered long load times when trying to launch online mode upon starting the game, and have often been tossed completely in between missions due to timeout errors on the server.

As much as I am eager to see heists enter the game, I am more interested in Rockstar fixing the problems that are already plaguing the game and have nothing to do with game economy.

I understand that Rockstar is a business, and they are here to make money, but I think that if they want a long-term, sustainable product, then the time is now to fix the things that players complain about every single day.

It is impossible to imagine them even being able to successfully implement heists with the problems that already occur daily on the Rockstar servers. There are lots of holes, and these holes will continue to be a source of both irritation and innovation on the part of the player base if Rockstar doesn’t pay attention.

Grand Theft Auto Online

Grand Theft Auto Online

The money glitches came about due to player frustration with the inability to make good money through normal means in the game. Rockstar answered that by providing the ability to grind the same missions over and over again.

What that has turned into is 1,000 invitations to Rooftop Rumble every single playing session, and why wouldn’t it? The ability to earn $18,750 and over 4,000 RP in under five minutes would appeal to anyone. It’s easy, it’s legal, and it won’t land you in the much dreaded cheater lobby.

It is rumored that heists will have a maximum payout of $80,000 per player, and while that may seem like a lot, when you add in the amount of time it will take for planning and execution (based on the way heists work in story mode), it may not be worth the trouble at all.

GTA Online Survival Mode  (via

GTA Online Survival Mode (via

Survival takes at the least 20 minutes to complete and get all the way to the 10th wave. The payout on that is $20,000 maximum. Why would I spend 30 minutes doing survival when I can do Rooftop Rumble at least 5 times in that time and make 5 times as much?

Rockstar was very ambitious in putting out an online gaming product that operates on such a large scale, and it is a good product, but it is a good product with a lot of problems that still need to be worked out.

Rather than making promises it can’t or won’t be able to keep, Rockstar should focus harder on making improvements to what is already in place.

Those improvements could very well make room and a way for the grand ideas that are still in the future for this awesome game.

Do you play Grand Theft Auto Online? What are your thoughts on Rockstar’s development of the game thus far? What would you like to see? Talk to me in the comments!

10 songs with inappropriate lyrics (that I absolutely love)

Lil Kim's Hardcore album cover

Lil Kim’s Hardcore album cover

We’ve already established that I love music. I love music of all types, to be exact, and so it should come as no surprise to you that among some of my favorite little ditties are a few numbers which contain lyrics I wouldn’t recite in front of my parents.

OK, maybe I would, because grown, but that’s beside the point. Here is a list of 10 songs that i absolutely love inspite of the completely inappropriate lyrics:

1. AkinyelePut It In Your Mouth” – Let’s get right into it with a song about fellatio. And cunnilingus. Right from the beginning we are hit with the ratchet as a young lady sings at the top of her lungs and with much rhythm about the fact that her baby has left her, and so to get over this, she goes to his best friend’s house and asks him to put it in her mouth.

2. Lil Kim – “Not Tonight” – This song is as old as your oldest teenager right now, and I still sing it with gusto whenever it comes up on my playlist. I don’t care. Fight me. Kim came so hard on this song, which goes into great detail about why she doesn’t want the D tonight, but instead would require a good tongue lashing. Act like you don’t agree; this is an all-time ladies anthem.

3. Akinyele – “Fuck Me For Free” – Yes, this is another one from that sage of hip hop past, Akinyele. Clearly tired of having to spend money in order to get the goods, he comes out honestly and asks the young ladies if they wouldn’t mind fornicating under consent of the king for free, because this is how real Gs get down.

4. ScHoolboy Q – “Grooveline pt. 2” – In which our young homey asks over and over again if we ladies would engage in a little track walking for him. My answer? I’m looking for the man who is good enough to make me want to sell that pussy for him. In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy this song and sing the lyrics of the hook at the top of my lungs.

5. Gangsta Boo – “Can I Get Paid?” – aka Stripper’s anthem. You have to imagine yourself working in a strip club, depending on tips to make your livelihood, and here comes some dude with no money in his pockets looking to get a lap dance. Sir, are you serious right now? Get your broke ass out the club if you ain’t gon’ tip. I mean that shit, and I ain’t even a stripper (yet).

6. YG“I’m a Real 1” – I only came to know this song and the artist through GTA V, but I’m already hooked. This particular song is a personal fave simply because this man admits to being a lick-em-low lover on the first date. I personally don’t go for that kind of dude, because eww, but the line itself is funny, and it is what endeared me to this song. There you have it.

7. 100s – “Life of a Mack” – Another banger from the GTA V soundtrack. The first verse alone makes this song a winner for inappropriate lyrics of the year. People who play GTA Online with me are lucky that I no longer turn the volume up on the television when I’m playing (I can hear voice chat through my headset), because if that were not the case, I would obnoxiously be reciting these lyrics each and every time they came on as we rode along the streets of Los Santos.

8. N.W.A. – “Automobile” – This is an inappropriate lyrics classic! If you can resist Eazy E singing “You don’t have to front on me bitch”  in an off-key voice, I’m not even sure why we are associated with each other. Then again, maybe we aren’t. In which case, get into it so we can be friends. I still know every single lyric to this song, and often, in lieu of saying goodbye to my friends, I sing, “Get out, get out, get out,” much in the same way Eazy did at the end of this song.

9. Dr Dre ft. Snoop Dogg, Kurupt and Daz – “Bitches Ain’t Shit” – Another inappropriate lyrics classic. Let’s get into the way the girl at the end is harmonizing about how much she doesn’t give a fuck. You know you sing that part the loudest; don’t front. Not to mention this is classic Snoop, Daz and Kurupt the way we remember them, and that alone puts it in the Inappropriate Lyrics Hall of Fame.

10. N.W.A. – “Just Don’t Bite It” and “She Swallowed It” – There are few guilty pleasures in life more enjoyable than listening to Lorenzo Patterson better known as MC Ren rapping over some of the hardest west coast rap beats in existence as he discusses several women who love performing fellatio. Come to think of it, there’s nothing better than Lorenzo Patterson, but I digress. These songs go into the same listing because they are basically parts 1 and 2 of the same song, and I am all the way here for it, inherent misogyny aside.

Have I missed any? What’s on your list of inappropriate song lyrics? Let me know in the comments

[March 4, 2014] GTAV Title Update 1.11 Notes – Rockstar Support

Rockstar has added an update to the ever popular GTAV title. My favorite new addition? Twist out hairdos for the ladies. I’ve been begging for natural hairstyles for player characters, and here it is.

The full details of the update are at the link. Lots of new clothing, new tattoos, new jobs, new vehicles (including a new plane), new survival map and some glitch fixes. We’ll see how long the glitch fixes last; players seem to keep finding ways around them.


[March 4, 2014] GTAV Title Update 1.11 Notes – Rockstar Support.


GTA Online: The Business Update Coming Next Week, Tuesday March 4th | Rockstar Games

Enjoy the perks of rising through the ranks of your Los Santos and Blaine County business ventures with The Business Update, coming next week on Tuesday March 4th to PSN and Xbox Live. Thrill-seekers and weekend warriors can hop in any of three all-new, blazing fast sports cars: the Albany Alpha, Dinka Jester and Grotti Turismo R… or take to the skies in the new Vestra airplane.

via GTA Online: The Business Update Coming Next Week, Tuesday March 4th | Rockstar Games.


I Accidentally Catfished Someone In Grand Theft Auto Last Night – On The Media

People react to women, even fake women, in online video games. Computer-controlled characters will try to flirt with me. Characters controlled by actual people tend to be kind of hateful. “That bitch just stole my Elegy FX.” “Oh shit, even the fuckin’ Silver Woman has more kills than you, man.”

via I Accidentally Catfished Someone In Grand Theft Auto Last Night – On The Media.

I can attest to the sentiments expressed in this article being true. I have what I refer to as a GTA boyfriend, and it’s not because I am at all interested in pursuing a real-life romance with him, but rather because ever since we have started playing GTA Online together, he kills any other man who attempts to get near me.


Taking Aim at GTA Online Cheaters | Rockstar Games

In recent weeks, a small number of Grand Theft Auto Online players sought to exploit the game by generating and distributing game-breaking amounts of in-game cash, disrupting the experience for other players.(Updated)

We will continue to issue title updates on an ongoing basis to counter the negative impact this has had on gameplay, and as part of today’s maintenance period, we are removing the counterfeit GTA$ from the game’s economy. Anyone who innocently received GTA$ as a result of these exploits but did not engage in cheating to acquire it will not face any further action – the funds will just be removed, and you’ll be able to keep any items you currently own.

Those who actively engaged in cheating and exploiting the game in this manner will, however, be subject to in-game penalties at our discretion. This may include being placed in isolated cheater pools or banned from GTA Online altogether.

Should you ever encounter someone in GTA Online that appears to be taking advantage of exploits in your session, we ask that you alert us directly via the in-game reporting functionality. In the Pause menu, under the Online tab, select Players and scroll to the offending player. From there, select Report and choose Exploits from the violation options.

We’re grateful for the community’s continued support in dealing with these issues and once again apologize to anyone that has had their Grand Theft Auto Online experience sullied by these exploits that broke the game’s natural flow. Please stay tuned for lots more news about GTA Online in the weeks ahead.

via Taking Aim at GTA Online Cheaters | Rockstar Games.

Today my cash in GTA Online went from over $5 billion to $550,000. I didn’t hack or glitch for the money, but it was given to me by people hacking and glitching in various lobbies I found myself in. At one point I was actually begging people to stop giving me money; it was too much, and there was really nothing I could have done to spend all of that money in any amount of game playing.

That said, I did enjoy the rich life. I did silly things like respray my cars to match my outfits etc. I will miss that life, but in a way it feels good to have everyone on an even playing field again.

Today’s GTA session was still full of violence, but it was a lot tamer than normal. There were no tanks. People were carefully avoiding blowing up personal vehicles, because when all you have is $550,000 (which is all that most high level players were left with; lower level players have even less), you are reticent to want to spend the money paying for someone else’s vehicle.

Although Rockstar has leveled the multi-player playing field, I fully believe the real intent here is to make it easier for them to sell their game cash or shark cards, and that is unfortunate. Rockstar already made a mint selling the video game at $60 a pop, and to try to milk it even further for cash seems exploitative to say the least.

It’s not hard to earn GTA, and even after I got the cash, I still played a lot of survival which earns me $20,000 each time. Still, I can’t help but feel sorry for those who came into the game when the cash was being given out because they never really had to work hard in GTA, and this is probably distressing them more than anyone else.