Dear Amber Rose,
Clearly you understand the amount of power you hold over those of us who keep hitting the refresh button on your Instagram page in our web browsers (a phone screen is just too small to view cakes like that).
Maybe you don’t really like all of this attention. Maybe you feel like you have to dole it out to us the way you would to an ungrateful or unfaithful lover who is not deserving of the beauty that is your body.
Whatever the case may be, we are missing looking at you. It’s not that we don’t love to see pictures of your face. We do. It is beautiful and perfect. You have a Colgate smile, and that is always fun to look at.
It’s not that we don’t like living your life through your pictures; we do. Life is good in Amber world. You travel a lot, rock hot fashions and ride in fancy cars. What’s not to love?
We appreciate all the gifts you bestow upon us, Muva.
We just wish you’d bring those cakes back.
She got us high on the good stuff, and then she left us hanging for days. I am strung out waiting on new, sexy pictures of her to surface on Instagram I feel like Pookie in New Jack City.
Also, look at these brilliant sketches of some of her Instagram poses
Amber Rose is a bald, blonde goddess. I continue my quest to stalk her Instagram and bring you the fruits of my labor. She never disappoints. Today we are blessed with a new hot pic and two tasty videos.
Oh, Amber. How we love thee.
I love how you seem to be loving your life just being Amber. More people should feel so comfortable in their own skin.
Everyone is still talking about the pictures you posted this weekend, even Wendy Williams!
But you don’t even want all the shine for yourself, so you bless us with a video of another hottie with a fat ass.
Listen. Keep doing you, Amber. We will continue to be here for it. <3
I’ve decided that I am going to write
a post each day that Amber Rose posts new pics on Instagram a series of posts dedicated to Amber Rose and her Instagram account. You mad, or nah?
I consider this a part of my job as an information curator. You are welcome.
Dear Amber Rose,
Yesterday you posted some pictures on Instagram, and the Internet collectively lost its mind. You are so beautiful, Amber. What did we do to deserve you?
For the record, yesterday was not my first time noticing you, but it was the first time I felt compelled by something within me to share your beauty with the world.
You are everything.
Have you ever seen Harlem Nights? Remember that scene where Della Reese is describing Sunshine?
That’s who you are, Amber. You are our sunshine. We cannot get enough of you. We want to bask in your glory at the risk of being burned by your hotness.
I hope you keep blessing us with these gifts, because we stand here ready to receive.
And good lord, do we appreciate it.