Dear Amber Rose,
Clearly you understand the amount of power you hold over those of us who keep hitting the refresh button on your Instagram page in our web browsers (a phone screen is just too small to view cakes like that).
Maybe you don’t really like all of this attention. Maybe you feel like you have to dole it out to us the way you would to an ungrateful or unfaithful lover who is not deserving of the beauty that is your body.
Whatever the case may be, we are missing looking at you. It’s not that we don’t love to see pictures of your face. We do. It is beautiful and perfect. You have a Colgate smile, and that is always fun to look at.
It’s not that we don’t like living your life through your pictures; we do. Life is good in Amber world. You travel a lot, rock hot fashions and ride in fancy cars. What’s not to love?
We appreciate all the gifts you bestow upon us, Muva.
We just wish you’d bring those cakes back.